


Glass Hearts

by The_Dancing_Walrus



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Drunk Lena Luthor, F/F, Falling In Love, Grief/Mourning, Jealousy, Lena Luthor Doesn't Know Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Lena Luthor Finds Out Kara Danvers is Supergirl, Love Triangles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-03
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-27 07:53:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10804956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dancing_Walrus/pseuds/The_Dancing_Walrus
Summary: 'The first thing Lena really felt after Jack died was jealousy. It took her longer than usual to work out what it was, to connect the bitter agitated thing shattering the numbness with the way her mind kept going back to Lyra-But she also felt relieved. If she was going to go mad like the rest of her family then at least it was over something ordinary.She could live with going mad over a girl.'In which Lena Luthor falls in love with Kara Danvers and Lyra accidentally gets in the way.





	Glass Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> I am at home ill and apparently obsessed with SuperCorp. Please go easy on the typos, I can't feel my head right now.

The first thing Lena really _felt_ after Jack died was jealousy. It took her longer than usual to work out what it was, to connect the bitter agitated _thing_ shattering the numbness with the way her mind kept going back to _Lyra_ -

 

She felt ashamed of it almost instantly. Petty, stupid, _selfish-_

 

But she also felt relieved. If she was going to go mad like the rest of her family then at least it was over something _ordinary_.

 

Better to go mad over a pretty girl than because you didn’t like the new sort of immigrant or thought the world should bend around you.

 

She could live with going mad over a girl.

 

-

 

It happened because Kara was a good person and a _good friend_. She wouldn’t leave Lena alone.

 

Lena had known, in the vague, shallow way that she’d felt things then, that she couldn’t have been good company. She didn’t turn sullen the way Lex had, but quiet, detached-

 

And Kara had persevered. They had had coffees and lunches and seen movies and eaten more of Kara’s abysmal baking than was strictly healthy. Kara had carried conversations, told her about work and stories and friends. Kara had told jokes and Lena had tried to remember how to smile.

 

She’d felt a little guilty for not recovering.

 

And then there was _Lyra_ -

 

Kara had been _nervous_. Lena can remember the way she’d stood introducing them, her hands clasped together too tight, swaying just slightly so she didn’t shift her feet. She can remember the way Kara had stressed ‘ _friend’_ when she’d introduced Lyra.

 

She’d thought- Well she’d _thought_ that it was because Lyra was an alien, clearly and unmistakably.

 

And Lena had smiled even though it hurt in a small dull way. Because Kara’s worry was natural.

 

They’d shaken hands, firm and quick. Any worry Lena had about making the right impression had vanished quickly because- Because Lyra had no idea what the name _Luthor_ meant. Lena could see it, in her eyes, in her comfortable body language, in her easy smile.

 

So at first it had been easy. Lyra had no fears, no expectation, no memory of her brother-

 

They had been _getting on_. Kara’s nerves had eased gradually and it might have-

 

Except then Lyra’s arm had gone easily over Kara’s shoulders. A touch that seemed easy and intimate. And something jagged and painful had broken the numbness round Lena’s heart leaving her full of broken glass.

 

-

 

At first it’s like hate.

 

She’s polite when they meet and she doesn’t think she gives any signs-

 

Kara doesn’t seem to notice anyway.

 

But she feels it like being stabbed every time Lyra’s hand brushes Kara’s arm, every time they share a smile.

 

-

 

She finds herself thinking in a vague detached way how easy it would be to get rid of Lyra Strayd.

 

The paperwork for aliens can be difficult after all. Lena knows that if she phoned the right people then Lyra could lose her job, her home-

 

The quarantine period is eight months. Lena can’t remember why she knows that but now it keeps circling her thoughts.

 

Eight months is a long time to wait for someone. Especially when you haven’t been together long.

 

She imagines Kara crying on her shoulder after weeks of trying to untangle government red tape.

 

She feels a little disgusted with herself.

 

And then later she tries to comfort herself with the fact that she’s never imagined Lyra _dead_.

 

Of course then she thinks about it.

 

It’s startling to discover that not only could she _do it_ but it would probably be easier than getting Lyra trapped in quarantine.

 

It makes her feel sick.

 

She tells Kara she’s caught the flu and misses their next date.

 

-

 

She makes more of an effort, drives all her energy and morning into looking perfect in the afternoon. But Kara doesn’t seem to notice.

 

So Lena starts putting the focus of all those glass shards in her chest into their conversations instead. She isn’t _catty_ and she doesn’t cut Lyra out exactly it’s just-

 

Charm. Lena makes herself charming, engaging, _scintillating_ company.

 

It’s a little like what Lex used to do-

 

She tries to ignore that thought.

 

In the evening when they part Kara beams at her and hugs her close.

 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better.” She murmurs in Lena’s ear.

 

And it feels like all the glass homing in on her heart because that’s not what she meant _at all_ -

 

-

 

After that she feels something almost like the old numbness again. Like the glass has minced her core so thoroughly that she’s been hollowed out. There’s nothing under her ribs any more.

 

She tries to stop seeing Kara but Kara Danvers keeps her promises. And Lena finds she can’t commit to pushing Kara away.

 

She ends up crying, the way she should have cried after Jack died. The way she couldn’t. And Kara holds her. Kara strokes her hair and tells her that it will be alright. That Lena will feel better someday.

 

Lena knows she’ll have to say something, have to tell her.

 

But the vacuum in her chest sucks all her words away.

 

-

 

After what seems like a hundred years it eases. It settles.

 

With a detachment that scares her Lena finally concludes that she can not compete with Lyra and she cannot lose her only friend.

 

She’s quiet through lunch. She drinks.

 

Kara starts to fidget; she glances off towards the windows. Which usually means she’s about to make an awkward excuse and spend far too long in the bathroom.

 

Lena has been meaning to ask her about her medical insurance for a while now.

 

Kara fumbles through an excuse and flees. Lena steels herself and catches Lyra’s eye.

 

“What?” Lyra asks

 

“Are you happy?” Lena says, Lyra tilts her head and her eyes change shape in a way that Lena thinks is confused. “Do you make _her_ happy?”

 

“Who?”

 

“ _Kara_.” There’s a quiet force in the way Lena says her name and she watches Lyra but she sees-

 

Nothing.

 

She tries to stay calm. If she focuses on the _fact_ that English is not Lyra’s first language, that this is _not_ Lyra’s culture, that the possibility of misunderstanding is _high-_

 

Then perhaps Lena won’t dwell on the possibility that Kara is being used. Perhaps her mind won’t go in a hundred different directions and feed her fantasies of _exposing_ Lyra as a heartless bitch, or the hundred ways Lena could break them apart and the impossible sweet image of Kara somehow being _grateful_ -

 

If she could only focus.

 

“Are you alright?” Lyra sounds perplexed.

 

Lena takes a deep breath.

 

“You and Kara. Are you happy?” It seems suddenly difficult to breathe. “I _need to know_ that she’s happy. With you.”

 

There’s a silence that spins out like thread going taunt. Lena can’t look at her and she’s not sure what she’ll do if she doesn’t like Lyra’s answer, if Lyra _can’t_ answer.

 

Valerians react badly to too much pepper and they can’t taste it. Lena could put her in the hospital with a flick of her wrist.

 

It hurts that she knows that. And it hurts that she isn’t sure she wouldn’t do it.

 

“I’m not ‘with’ her.” Lyra says as if Lena’s the one who might have trouble with English. “Kara isn’t my girlfriend. I’m- I’m actually with someone else.”

 

Lyra keeps talking, slowly and clearly. But some of it gets lost in the air between them.

 

It hits Lena in the chest. She drags in a deep, painful breath and closes her eyes. She can feel her hands doing something she can’t entirely control on the table top. She thinks they might be shaking-

 

And then there’s a hand on top of hers and when she looks up Lyra is a blur and there’s something wet around Lena’s eyes and something huge and warm growing up to fill the emptiness under her ribs.

 

“I thought-” Lena stammers around the words and stops.

 

Lyra looks at her with hard, white, _alien,_ eyes and the mess of hate and guilt Lena’s been holding breaks open like so much clay.

 

“I think I love her.” Lena breathes and Lyra’s hand tightens around hers.

 

Then Lyra’s shifting, standing. She’s smiling a little when Lena looks up at her. Lyra gives her hand one more squeeze.

 

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

 

Lyra walks away as if she’s had people obeying her instructions all her life. The mess in Lena’s mind shifts to something like white noise-

 

And Lena follows her.

 

-

 

They get a cab. The driver keeps glancing at them in his mirror. They’ll be some travesty of a ‘story’ in the gossip columns tomorrow.

 

They’re going to a bar. Lyra tells her that it’s where she met Winn. The man Lena’s never heard of who is apparently Lyra’s boyfriend and one of Kara’s closest friends. According to Lyra most of Kara’s friends frequent this bar.

 

Kara’s never mentioned it.

 

She’s never talked about Winn or James or Mon-El or Jonn. She’s mentioned a Maggie in passing and Lena knows that Alex is Kara’s sister-

 

But there’s a layer to Kara’s life that Lena has only just realised is there.

 

She spends the journey wondering why she’s hearing this from Lyra.

 

And then they get to the bar.

 

And Lena can see why Kara’s never mentioned it before.

 

The man with a head like a fish is staring at her. So are a few of the others. But Lyra has a death-grip on her hand and Lyra has decided they’re going up to the bar.

 

Lyra orders two Lulorrian lagers. They’re purple and smell like tamarind paste. Lena drinks.

 

And little by little everything starts slotting together.

 

-

 

Lyra tells her more about Kara’s friends than Kara ever has.

 

Lena’s first thought is that Kara is an alien but that doesn’t quite add up. It doesn’t explain, even with the filter of two glasses of wine and four alien drinks, why she would have been so careful that Lena didn’t meet her human friends.

 

Even through the haze of alcohol and…other chemicals, Lena recognises Lyra’s pictures. She’s seen them all before.

 

Alex Danvers, the FBI agent who saved Lena’s life.

 

Maggie Sawyer, the detective who arrested her.

 

Michael, Kara’s ex who is apparently _also_ called ‘Mon-El’-

 

James Olsen, who Lena _had known_ was at least acquainted with Kara because they both worked at CatCo for so long but _friends-_

 

And Winn Schott, who once crawled under a table and helped Lena rig a device to destroy alien weaponry. He looks terrified when he turns up an hour later. Lyra introduces them and Lena isn’t quite sure _why_ he’s so scared yet.

 

Somewhere underneath the alcohol she’s angry. But there’s no one but Kara to blame for Kara’s lies and she’s still not quite sure how she feels about that.

 

It’s more satisfying to drink and grin and laugh too loud at Lyra’s stories then think about it.

 

She still can’t quite work it out. It leaves Lena with the frustrating feeling that she has all the pieces but no matter how she shuffles them they won’t fit together.

 

If Kara was _just_ an alien then using Lyra as a test should have been enough. So why-

 

Or what-

 

Lyra is a talkative drunk. First Winn tries to distract her then he tries to coax Lena away but Lex taught her a thing or two about getting people to talk.

 

And Lyra wants to talk about how Agent Alex Danvers saved her from Cadmus-

 

It feels like a million years too late to remember that the Martian Manhunter’s name is Jonn J’onzz.

 

God she feels so stupid.

 

Out of the corner of her eye Lena can see Winn chewing his lip. She keeps her eyes on Lyra and a wide smile on her face. She orders another round of drinks.

 

And waits.

 

-

 

By the time Kara actually shows up Lena’s not sure how she should be feeling.

 

She’s angry and she thinks if she let it take hold it would have a sharp, bitter edge.

 

But it’s mixed with something bright. Something she caught when Lyra showed Lena she might have a chance. That’s what this _means_ after all.

 

Kara was letting Lena into her life. One small step at a time.

 

It’s just that Lena’s figured Kara out before she could be told.

 

Winn shakes his head at a point past Lyra in a way he probably thinks is subtle. Lena turns in the booth to see Kara Danvers biting her lip by the doorway.

 

“KARA!” Lena squeals and she sounds drunk but then again she _is_ drunk and it is also possible that she doesn’t care.

 

Kara comes over. Lena kicks Lyra out of her side of the booth. Lyra pretends to pout for about as long as it takes for her to wrap her arms around Winn. Lena hadn’t thought it was possible for the woman to get any _more_ handsy and yet-

 

Kara sits down. She looks worried which Lena supposes is fair.

 

“What happened?” Kara asks. “I-I came back and you were gone.”

 

Lena and Lyra meet each other’s eyes across the table. One of them starts giggling. Lena isn’t entirely clear on who.

 

It’s possible she’s had a little too much to drink.

 

“I was abducted.” Lena tells her. “By aliens.”

 

Lyra laughs as if it’s the funniest thing she’s heard in years.

 

Kara looks at them both as if they’re crazy. She might be right. Lena certainly _feels_ crazy.

 

But the growing lightness in her makes her think that perhaps that isn’t so bad.

 

She throws her arm over Kara’s shoulders. Kara doesn’t stiffen, she doesn’t pull away. She has a sort of disbelieving frown on her face that Lena doesn’t want to think too hard about.

 

If she does she might lose her nerve.

 

She puts her hand gently on Kara’s cheek. She leans close and Kara breathes in sharp and quick-

 

And Lena steals her glasses.

 

“Wha- HEY!” Kara protests but Lena has already tried them on.

 

They’re certainly not prescription. And without them, that little frown on her face and the slight downward turn of her lips Kara looks like-

 

Lena starts giggling. She can’t help it. Kara Danvers looks like- Kara Danver’s _is_ -

 

Oh god she needs a drink.

 

She says so and Kara protests but Lyra is a wonderful, devious enabler. It makes Lena feel very sorry for thinking about killing her. Which means that after she downs the grey…thing she gets almost weepy-

 

She ends up telling Lyra that her mother ran Cadmus.

 

They spend ten minutes calling Lillian Luthor names, then Lyra’s almost sick on someone’s shoes and they leave.

 

-

 

When she wakes up Lena’s head feels…appalling. The room is light and airy, with a lot of pale colours.

 

It takes her a moment to realise she’s on Kara’s couch.

 

There’s noise. Lena sits up slowly and sees Kara in her little kitchen, making something that looks like it involves no baking at all. Small mercies-

 

“You’re awake.” Kara says.

 

“Yes.” Lena replies.

 

It’s a little less painful than nodding.

 

“You drank a _lot_ last night.” Kara observes. “Are you feeling OK?”

 

Lena winces. “Lulorrian lager should be banned.”

 

Kara smiles at her, a little shyly, like she isn’t quite sure what to say. Her hair’s pulled up in a messy pony tail and her glasses are on. Perhaps she’s hoping that Lena won’t remember.

 

“I made bacon.” Kara says and Lena smiles back.

 

It comes out crooked. Her head feels like it’s been in a blender but her chest feels full of sunlight.

 

“I love you.”

 

Kara laughs. “You’re welcome.”

 

“I’m not talking about the bacon.”

 

Lena gets up and totters over to the kitchen. She knows in an off-hand way that she must look atrocious, red-eyed with yesterday’s make up smeared across her face. Kara’s eyes are so wide she almost looks frightened and that’s not how this is supposed to go at all.

 

Lena stares straight into Kara’s eyes and has no idea what to say.

 

Lulorrian lager really _should_ be banned.

 

“I _love you_.” She says again.

 

It comes out rough and jagged. It makes her sound like Lex did when he was declaring war. May be that’s to be expected.

 

Kara doesn’t seem to know what to say either.

 

“Go out with me.” Lena says and it doesn’t sound nearly enough like a question.

 

Kara turns back to the bacon just before it burns. She moves in short agitated spurts and Lena’s not at all sure what she’ll do if Kara says no.

 

She waits while Kara piles bacon on top of toast and something that probably contains egg.

 

“Do you _really_ want to date me?” Kara asks.

 

The simple thing would be to just say ‘yes’. The sane thing would be to say ‘yes’.

 

But Lena’s seen what dishonesty can do before and she _wants_ Kara.

 

“Actually I want to marry you.”

 

Kara drops the pan.

 

“You’re not _serious_?!”

 

“I am.” Lena states. “I want to marry you. I want you to wear the cape when we do. Lex will try to kill us and the reception will be ruined. It would be just like the day we met.”

 

“You’re _not_ serious.” Kara says again but she sounds less sure.

 

“But that’s not the done thing anymore is it? Whirlwind proposals. So instead I suggest dating for at least a year, followed by a period of cohabitation. Then marriage.”

 

“Oh Rao you _are_ serious-”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be? I love you.”

 

Kara finally meets her eyes again. She’s scowling and after a moment she tears off her glasses. Her eyes are really startlingly blue.

 

For a moment Lena stops breathing.

 

“ _Why?”_ Kara demands

 

Lena looks away. Her hands curl up on the counter top and she can feel something hot and itchy at the corner of her eye. Like a few pieces of the glass that surrounded her heart are trying to push their way out.

 

“Because you’re kind.”

 

Kara doesn’t understand. Lena can see it in her face. But she doesn’t know how to explain that Kara is everything Lena has tried and failed to be.

 

That she is trusting where Lena is guarded. That she makes compassion look effortless.

 

“Lots of people are kind.” Kara says.

 

“Not like you.”

 

“You’re not mad?” Kara asks. “I thought-I thought you’d be mad?”

 

“I’m furious.” Lena admits. “But I think I understand.”

 

“Do you?”

 

Lena shrugs her least painful shoulder. “You wanted to tell me at your own pace.”

 

Kara sighs. After a moment she picks up Lena’s breakfast and puts it down with a knife and fork under Lena’s nose.

 

The smell reminds her just how terrible her hangover really is.

 

“Go out with me?” It comes out as a question this time.

 

“Eat your bacon.” Kara says.

 

Lena picks up a piece with her fingers and nibbles the edges.

 

She watches Kara, who looks everywhere but Lena, her arms across her chest like-

 

Like Supergirl.

 

“I’m not good at dating.” Kara says. “My last boyfriend _lied_ to me and then- _then_ his parents tried to _take over the planet_.”

 

“I think we’ve already done that part.” Lena murmurs.

 

“And before that there was James- And it didn’t work. And we don’t-” She scrubs a hand through her hair and looks disheveled in a way Supergirl never does.

 

“If you need time I can wait.”

 

Kara sighs. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

She stares at her shoes.

 

“I’ll mess it up.” Kara says.

 

Lena considers this between tiny bites of bacon.

 

“I don’t believe you.”

 

“Why? Because I’m _Supergirl?_ ”

 

“Because you’re Kara Danvers.”

 

Kara sucks in a breath as if she’s been punched.

 

And it seems like an advantage, so Lena presses it. She moves slowly around the little counter top until she’s in front of Kara, leans in and their lips brush together.

 

It only lasts a moment. Then Kara is pulling back, but she’s doing it with a smile.

 

“Your breath _stinks_.” Kara says.

 

Lulorrian lager really should be banned.

 

But Kara is smiling and-

 

“Go brush your teeth.” Kara orders, somewhere on the verge of laughter. “I’m not going out with you until you’ve got better breath.”

 

And Lena does what she’s told.


End file.
